tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1104578032634659547.post349401149052438871..comments2023-12-16T09:55:55.411-05:00Comments on Diary of a Dying Mom: Dirty Little SecretMichelle Mayerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02318613737219902794noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1104578032634659547.post-12627989603849176662008-09-03T03:04:00.000-04:002008-09-03T03:04:00.000-04:00Thank you for sharing, not just in this post but a...Thank you for sharing, not just in this post but all your posts. <BR/><BR/>Our son is handful. He is almost 5 and was the baby that never slept. They couldn't get him out of the hospital fast enough. They had to put him in a rocker to get him to be quiet. After the hearing test he was very upset.<BR/>He has reflux that was only recently diagnosed dispite his colic persisting until 18 months. <BR/><BR/>His 2s and 3s were bad but I figured that with me working and a new baby that he would work through things. This summer I promised my husband that one of us needed to be medicated because I can't handle it anymore. Temper tantrums that start over the wrong color kickboard and last 30 minutes load enough for people to hear for 1/2 mile. On a good day I would get just 1 tantrum, a bad day as many as 5. I have walked away from him in stores when he refused to listen and continually ran away from me for the 50th time; my husband has looked at me in horror and disbelief. We both work but I would like to think we are fortunate in that we work 10 mins from home and one of us starts early and one starts late so their days in daycare/preschool are never more than 8 hrs. We do sports classes with him, read books nightly and nothing seems to be enough sometimes.<BR/><BR/>After a visit with a neurologist/psychiatrist we have been informed he is very smart and has hyperactivity issues and that it is just behavoral. That he is showing no signs of ADD or ADHD. I would like to believe that is all it is, but he looses his temper so easily and hurts his sister so much. <BR/>So for now, I am the boss. I have threatened to cancel his birthday (< 2 weeks), vacation and christmas if he doesn't start listening. I would like to spend more fun time with this little boy who can be so kind, nurturing and loving; rather than having to be this meany. Sometimes it is hard because I waited nine years for this little man after I lost my first son....Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07841824123510273033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1104578032634659547.post-89203132653923175002008-09-02T22:56:00.000-04:002008-09-02T22:56:00.000-04:00Your words ring so true to me and my daily adventu...Your words ring so true to me and my daily adventures with my kids. My son has had similar behavioral problems from the moment he was born :) always fussy, always crying, very emotional very frustrated. He also has SID as well as ADHD. Our doctors thought he might have PDD/NOS(Autism) because my daughter has Aspergers Syndrome, but since his Behavioral and speech therapy things have gotten better. And now at 4 1/2 years old, occassionally he says I'll die or he'll send me to jail, but that is a good day in our house. So, thank you for sharing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1104578032634659547.post-57874501975314195422008-09-02T22:11:00.000-04:002008-09-02T22:11:00.000-04:00Wow thats all i have to say. I am not even sure of...Wow thats all i have to say. I am not even sure of the words i want to say to you besides..Thank you! thank you for writing this for dealing with this in such an open forum. i know i will be checking in daily just to see what other advise or stories you my have..you are so much stronger then i would ever be in any of the situations that you blog about.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1104578032634659547.post-82725066652669491192008-08-26T13:31:00.000-04:002008-08-26T13:31:00.000-04:00What a wonderful post! It brought back memories of...What a wonderful post! It brought back memories of our similiar struggles with our daughter (now 12). When she was 2 1/2, (I had just had my third daughter) she began having melt-downs and temper tantrums and it escalated to the point that we took her to a therapist. We were told that she had severe separation anxiety (from me) and similiar integration issues as Aidan. I was working in law and the therapist told me that it would be helpful if I could have lunch everyday with my daughter. I thought the therapist was crazy! Here I was with 3 kids ages 3 and under trying to work in a field that was not so mother-friendly, and could barely get to work by 9, and now I was supposed to turn around and go have lunch with the child who made me late to work in the first place? There was no way that was going to happen and I had eight hours of someone else taking care of my daughter and I couldn't tell anyone, but I was glad to have that break and was not going to do anything to cut it short. (I felt guilty for feeling that way, but it was the truth.)<BR/>We spent alot of time in therapy and taught my daughter how to understand what emotions she was feeling: "You look happy right now", "That is an angry thing to do", etc. She was such an emotional time bomb and it was such a stress on all of us. Many an outing or event were cut short when my daughter fell apart and couldn't get it back together. I used to wonder why she couldn't be like her twin brother who was so laid back and self-sufficient. It was hard not to favor him or gravitate towards him. I found it difficult to give her the physical nuturing that I knew she needed---it was like trying to hug a porcupine! In times of complete exasperation, I said things to her that I never should have said--for instance, she had this fear that there were witches who would come and get her and one day she had a huge temper tantrum in public and she was inconsolable---If I put her down, she screamed for me to pick her up; if I picked her up, she hit and scratched me for me to put her down. Finally, I put her down and whispered in her ear that the witches were going to get her and walked away. When I looked back, I saw sheer terror in her eyes. I will never forget that look and still carry so much guilt for such a childish act.<BR/>I don't know whether or not I was depressed, but sometime into the several year long process, I started taking lexapro. I quickly discovered that I like having extra circulating seratonin around and it helped me in dealing with my daughter which in turn, helped her. It was a long process (and I bit my husband's head off too many times to count while trudging through) but amazingly, our daughter is now settled, very in tune with herself, and is our sweetest and most sensitive of our three. (Oh yeah, I drank alot of wine too.)terryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18149478430764959214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1104578032634659547.post-59622283154140934342008-08-26T11:50:00.000-04:002008-08-26T11:50:00.000-04:00Wow. That was an intense post. This is the one thi...Wow. That was an intense post. This is the one thing that really scares me about the possibility of one day having kids. Unlike pretty much any other relationship, it's one you can't just walk away from even if you really want to sometimes. Add to that the tremendous uncertainty.....you don't really know what kind of kid is gonna "pop out".....sweet and agreeable, "challenging", or any and every thing in between....and you have the responsibility to raise this, this, human being. Fail to do it right and you might be to blame for the next Ted Bundy....or in some cases maybe that happens no matter how terrific your parenting skills are.....and I suppose there's also got to be some element of discomfort with the fact that this new person is a blend of yourself and your partner.....so these things that drive us bonkers....are they a reflection of some less than pristine part of ourselves or the person we have chosen to have a child with? Or is it totally a third way....a new creation that arises from the collision of two existing beings with less than ideal results on occasion? Few things terrify me quite as much as that.....having a child seems to be a gamble with permanent results and it can either be the best thing that happens to you, the worst thing that happens to you, or something in the middle. Yikes!D. Brad Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08820659734724085292noreply@blogger.com